Caliban - Bastard Son of the Obscene (thedarklinglord) wrote,
Caliban - Bastard Son of the Obscene
thedarklinglord

Speaking of Foreign Affairs and Hot, Slanty-eyed Bitches

Well, I finally decided to inform the people in South Korea that I'm no longer interested in teaching opportunities abroad. Or, more correctly, I told them that while I'm still very much interested in the opportunity, I'm simply unable to pursue that course of action at the moment. I've been stalling on it for weeks now and I really hated having to make this decision. I had already turned down three previous job offers - mainly because I had tickets for shows I was unwilling to miss, but also because I was struggling with my mixed feelings on the whole thing. What appealed to me most about the prospect of teaching English in Korea was the adventure of being completely immersed in a foreign culture. To just pick up and relocate, leaving all things familiar behind...and delving into sites, smells, tastes, and textures unknown. There's something about that idea that's so exciting and exhilarating, in the same way that it's rather terrifying and intimidating. And, yeah, the opportunity to maybe find myself a lovely little Korean girl didn't hurt either. I love those Asian girls... Mmm. Ahem. However, in the end, I realized I'm not entirely comfortable with the thought of committing to a full year in South Korea. Not presently. (I kinda want to wait till I wear out my welcome at the paper, till I really piss someone off and am left with no choice but to tell them they can all go fuck themselves with the pointiest sticks they can find. Then, when I'm unemployed with no real prospects, I'll ship off to Korea.)

And where the lovely young Korean girls are concerned...well, I'm practically obsessed with Asian women (as some of you well know) but I know I'd never be happy with a sweet little Asian nymph - or a woman of any origin, for that matter - that I couldn't clearly communicate with or relate to. What sort of relationship can you have with someone who doesn't speak the same language? Or who hasn't shared an even remotely similar upbringing? What sort of relationship can you have when there aren't any shared experiences? What do you talk about - assuming you can overcome the language barrier - when you haven't read any of the same books, seen the same movies, or listened to the same music? I mean, on the surface that sort of stuff seems pretty superficial and insignificant, but it's not. Where's the common ground that would serve as a strong foundation for the relationship? I've tried to convince myself that those things aren't really that important, and I've even half believed it on occasion, but I have this looming dread that if I did take a teaching position over in Korea, especially if my decision was motivated by this crazed love of Asian women, I'd quickly come to regret it and spend the next year utterly miserable.

Of course, some small part of me still secretly believes there are no teaching jobs in South Korea and that the whole thing is actually some elaborate scheme to get marginally well-educated American citizens into Korea, away from the U.S. government, so they can be sold to North Korea where they'll be smuggled across the border, promptly beaten and tortured until their wills are broken and they become mewling submissive babies, whereupon they'll be brainwashed and enlisted in the North Korean army, ready to fight and die for the glory of the New Korean Empire...or something less melodramatic, like used as slave labor in the rice fields, or, with the women and the prettier men, turned into the exotic commodity of American prostitutes in the Korean slums... Or...or... Then again, it's highly possible, and certainly more probable, that the Koreans seriously just want to learn English and they make these offers to native English speakers because who's more qualified than people who have been speaking the language their whole life? And I'm sure they know teaching Korean children is infinitely preferably to teaching these spoiled, snot-nosed, punk-ass American bastards. Then again, that torture/brainwashing/forced military service thing sounds pretty good when compared with the notion of teaching in the public schools of America.

In any event, I apologetically declined future offers, being indefinitely unavailable, but wisely left myself the option of pursuing South Korea at a later date, should I be so inclined, by ensuring them that I was definitely still interested in the opportunity and would let them know the instant my situation changed. In the meantime, I'll continue to look for hot Asian bitches in the U.S. (Preferably ones that haven't been too corrupted by western society. I mean, I want them to speak English, but I don't want them talking ebonics and spelling the words "boi" and "grrl" or shit like that. It's bad enough Americans do that. And, quite frankly, if that shit keeps up, I may willing and happily enlist and serve the New Korean Empire or any other tyrannical fascist regime that vows to cleanse the world of those fucktards.)
Comments for this post were disabled by the author